How to Avoid Losing Money to a Romance Scammer

Online dating is hard enough as it is, but things get even more complicated when scammers are added into the mix. Unfortunately, romance scams are increasingly common. There are tens of thousands of victims each year, resulting in hundreds of millions of dollars being swindled.¹

So, what is a romance scam? It’s where someone fakes a relationship in order to trick the victim into sending them money. They usually happen online via dating sites, email and other virtual platforms.

What happens in a romance scam?

Typically, online dating scams start with online contact via dating apps or social media. They engage with the target to gain their trust and build the “relationship.” Then the scammer will start asking the victim for money. They might ask for gift cards to pay for “travel expenses” or ask you to invest in fake cryptocurrency schemes. Romance scammers will try to get the money in a way that is difficult to reverse, such as a wire or gift cards.

What does a romance scammer want?

Think of romance scammers as the ultimate gold diggers. The romance scammer’s goal is to get money from their victims. Romance scams can target just about anyone. However, they’re less likely to happen to you if you remain diligent and keep an eye out for romance scam warning signs.

What are the signs of a romance scammer?

Remember that romance scammers are hoping you’ll be distracted by the potential relationship and ignore the red flags. Keep the following romance scam warning signs in mind:

1. They say they live far away
   Often, scammers will use a fake location and say they live far away from you. This helps them maintain anonymity and decreases the likelihood that you’ll ask them to meet in person.

2. They break promises to visit or meet
   If you do talk about meeting, whether in person or via phone, and the person doesn’t show up, this could very well be a sign of a scam. They most likely used fake photos for their profile to hide their real identity and won’t want to be seen in person.

3. Their profile seems too good to be true
   Do they have movie star looks, a bank account to match and promise that you'll join them in their jet-setting lifestyle? Well, they might not be your dream date looking for love––they might be a romance scammer.

4. They move fast
   If the person seems eager to move quickly through a relationship, beware, especially if you haven’t met in person yet. Scammers want to lure you into a sense of security, so they might try to convince you that they have strong feelings for you from the start.

5. They say they urgently need money.
   Scammers will often ask for wire transfers or “investments” and say it’s urgent or a “limited-time offer.” If it sounds like a marketing scheme, it probably is. You shouldn’t send money online to anyone you don’t know very well, especially someone new from a dating site. It’s absolutely a red flag that they’re a romance scammer.

What should I do if I feel I’m being scammed?

The good news is that there are steps you can take to protect yourself from online dating scams.

1. Practice basic online safety
   Think before you share any sensitive information like your birthday, address or phone number. Never share financial details, such as your account number, routing number or online banking logins.

2. Remember that nothing is truly private on the internet
   Even if you’re using a “private” chat or sending a direct email, you should always act with caution. Once something is on the internet, you can’t ever fully take it back. Don’t share any information that you’re not comfortable with the world knowing.

3. Check your privacy settings
   Most social media sites and online dating platforms allow you to customize your privacy settings, so take a look and see if there are any security settings to activate. You might want to restrict certain information or reduce visibility to specific locations or “friends of friends.”

4. Think before you click
   If someone you’ve matched with on a dating app sends you a message with any suspicious links or websites, avoid clicking on them. If you’re unsure, you can always try googling the name of the site and making sure it’s safe first.

5. Use reverse image search
   If you suspect that a dating profile might be fake, you can use Google's reverse image search tool (click the camera icon to upload an image) to see if the photos were taken from another site. If you find the photos somewhere else online and the details don’t match up, chances are, they’re fake.

Find Real Love, Not Fake Schemes

Don’t worry––there are plenty of (non-scammer) fish in the sea! If something feels shady, stop communicating with the person and reach out to someone you trust. And if you have fallen victim to a romance scammer in the past, then you certainly aren’t alone.

Ultimately, your safety is the most important thing, so always exercise caution to protect yourself––protecting your money is just as important as protecting your heart from romance scammers.

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1. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2021/02/romance-scams-take-record-dollars-2020