How to Plan a Funeral

If you’ve lost a friend or family member, making phone calls and filling out paperwork might be the last thing you want to do. But if you’re helping to plan the funeral, you’ll probably need to make several decisions and final arrangements quickly.

Your plans for laying your loved one to rest are deeply personal, and religion, cultural background, personal preferences, location and more will likely dictate the specifics of your arrangements. Having an idea of what to consider may make the tasks in front of you feel more manageable, so you can focus on celebrating your loved one’s life.

10 things to consider when you’re planning a funeral

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to funeral planning, but these action items may help you get the process started if you’re not sure where to begin. The American Association of Retired People (AARP) and the Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) have more detailed checklists to follow and resources to consult if you need additional support as you begin to plan.

Make arrangements

Some people make their own funeral arrangements before they pass away. If that’s the case for your loved one, you may have clear directives to follow, such as reaching out to a specific funeral provider or house of worship.

If your loved one passes away in a hospital, the hospital staff will typically help you organize the next steps. However, if the person passes away at home, you’ll likely need to call a funeral provider yourself.

Reach out to family and close friends

In the first few hours after a loved one passes, you don’t need to contact every person who might want to attend the funeral. It’s okay if you need to prioritize urgent details, like arranging for the transportation of the body. It’s also natural to take some time to process your own feelings about what is happening.

When you’re ready, start by reaching out to the family and close friends of the person who passed away. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask for support. Your loved ones may help you contact others who need to know about the death or want to attend the funeral.

Request copies of the death certificate

If first responders were called, they’ll usually contact someone with the authority, like a doctor or coroner, to pronounce the death and fill out paperwork stating the time, cause and place of the death.¹ The medical examiner or coroner will need these details to file for an official death certificate, a government form you’ll need to arrange the funeral and access any available life insurance money to pay for it.^2,3

You may need as many as five to ten copies of the death certificate depending on whether you or someone else has been named executor of the estate (the person named in the will or appointed by the probate court to manage someone’s estate after they pass). The executor will need the death certificate for tasks like closing bank accounts, transferring ownership of vehicles or notifying creditors.⁴ State laws about death certificates vary, but the funeral provider will likely guide you through the process of requesting as many certified copies as you need.⁵

Decide who will help you plan the funeral

The closest family members — a spouse, children or parents — are often the ones who step in to plan the funeral. If your loved one left instructions naming a specific person to handle arrangements, that person usually takes priority.

If questions or disagreements come up, the executor of the estate has the legal authority to make the final decisions.⁶ If you can’t find a will, try contacting the probate court in the county where your loved one lived.

Understand your options to pay for the funeral

According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial was about $8,300 in 2023, while a funeral with cremation averaged about $6,280.⁷ If those numbers seem out of reach to you, know that help is available.

Here are some potential options to help pay for funeral costs:

• If your loved one had life insurance, you should be able to use that money to pay for funeral costs. If not, check whether your loved one saved any money specifically for their funeral expenses.
• If your loved one didn’t have any money prepared for funeral costs, consider asking relatives, friends, and community organizations for help. Some funeral homes, crematoriums or cemeteries may also offer payment plans.⁸
• If you’re still unable to gather enough money to cover the expense, it may make sense to apply for a personal loan. OneMain offers personal loans for funeral expenses. A personal loan gives you access to a lump sum of money upfront, which you’ll repay along with interest — the cost of borrowing — over a set period of time.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) Funeral Rule protects your right to choose only the goods and services you want, receive clear written price lists and get an itemized statement from the funeral provider before you pay. Funeral providers must accept caskets or urns you purchase elsewhere and cannot charge extra fees for them. You can also choose cost-saving alternatives, like simple containers for cremation or refrigeration instead of embalming, unless a local law requires otherwise.⁹

Decide on the type of service

If your loved one left instructions in a will or other document, let that be your guide when making arrangements. Religion may also play a role in the customs you follow. If you aren’t sure what your loved one had in mind, choose what feels most significant for you and the people closest to your loved one.

Plan the details of the funeral service

Once you know what type of service you’d like to have, you can begin to narrow down the details, including:

• The location and date
• Who will lead or speak at the service (clergy, celebrant or family members)
• Decorations, such as flowers and photos
• What music, readings and other personal touches to include
• Transportation, such as a hearse or limousine
• Who to invite

Invite friends and family

Because funerals are often arranged on short notice, sending written invitations usually isn’t practical. Most families call relatives directly to share the details. You can also use an obituary, a social media post or an announcement through your place of worship, if applicable, to let others know about the service.

Ask for help and delegate tasks

Handling every detail on your own can be overwhelming, especially while you’re grieving. Lean on your support system and let them take some tasks off your plate. For example, loved ones can help by making phone calls, preparing food or gathering personal items to display at the service. If you’re part of a religious or community or group, they may also be ready to step in with both practical help and emotional support.

Take care of yourself

Funeral planning is demanding. Even if resting, eating or exercising feels difficult, try to make a conscious effort to take care of your own mental and physical health. You may find it helpful to maintain a simpler version of your typical routine during this time period.

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the loss of your loved one, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist or joining a local grief support group.

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Honor your loved one, your way

Remember, funerals should be personal, but they don’t have to be perfect. Whether it’s an elaborate, traditional ceremony or an intimate, informal gathering, what matters most is saying goodbye in a way that feels right for you and your family.

Sources

1, 3 https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/grief-and-mourning/what-do-after-someone-dies
2, 4, 5 https://trustandwill.com/learn/death-certificate/
6 https://www.investopedia.com/terms/e/executor.asp
7 https://nfda.org/news/statistics
8 https://funerals.org/get-help/how-to-save-money/how-to-pay-for-a-funeral-or-other-arrangements/
9 https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule